Beyond Judgment—Finding Authentic Faith in a Flawed Church
It’s tough to stay connected to church when you feel judged or see hypocrisy among its members. For 32% of youth, this has been a reason to step away from attendance.
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Maybe you’ve encountered harsh words, inconsistent actions, or a culture that feels more about appearances than love.
Those experiences can sting, and they’re real—but they don’t define the heart of faith.
Young person, God calls us individually to Himself, not to perfection in the eyes of others.
And your faith journey isn’t about others’ failures; it’s about God’s invitation to you.
If you’ve been hurt, how do you move past the hurt? Start by seeking a church where love outweighs judgment. Jesus modeled this in John 8:7, saying to the accusers of the adulterous woman, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.” I know you realize judgment is important but there is a balance with grace and that’s really what we all need.
Look for a community that embraces this grace over legalism—perhaps one with young adult groups or outreach ministries that are more welcoming towards questions and struggles. But one that will also challenge you with the truths in the Bible.
Hebrews 10:24-25 still calls us to “meet together” and “encourage one another,” even when it’s imperfect. Online options or small groups can also be a safe space to reconnect while you heal, if you have been hurt.
Again, I encourage you to look for on-campus ministries, that are close by and convenient. You’ll find others who understand your struggles and who can show you by example, that you can overcome.
Try to differentiate between human failure and your relationship towards God. People and even churches can have flaws, but God doesn’t.
Consider too, the enemy likes to hold us back with fear and lies. Fear that we will experience a repeat or lies that they will all be the same.
If you’ve moved like I have, you might have walked into a new church feeling hesitant—but I’ve found most are full of loving, graceful people who want to honor the Lord. Many are waiting to love on you for the Lord.
The enemy often uses fear to keep us away, but John 8:44 reminds us he’s a liar—don’t let his lies stop you from finding a loving community. Whatever that might look like, find fellowship somehow with other believers.
You might have heard hard preaching that felt overwhelming, but often it comes from pastors who love God and want to share His whole truth. Could the enemy have distorted that to push you away?
Sometimes, the enemy can twist even a truthful message to make it feel harsh or unwelcoming, but God’s heart is always love (1 John 4:8).
When I was a new believer at 21, I saw others’ imperfections and felt disappointed—I thought all Christians were perfect. But God showed me to look to Him above His creatures, because all humans struggle. We’re meant to look to Jesus as our example, not people. Hebrews 13:8 reminds us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Despite human flaws, He remains constant—keep your eyes on Him.
Hebrews 12:2 urges us, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”
Precious young people, you are important to God, and to us at Patriots Under God. We pray for you. We hope we’ve encouraged you to rediscover your faith. If we can help you in your walk, feel free to reach out to us here at Patriots Under God.
Please see our section on encouragement too.
As you step forward, know that God’s grace welcomes you back, and we’re here to walk with you—trust in His unchanging love to guide your journey home.
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